2023-06-19-ALB Wonky Dialect!

Prompt:
A man in New York City was arrested for allegedly trying to sell a "magic" rock that he claimed could grant wishes.

Bard, please create a hilarious dialogue about an N.Y. Jewish widow lady vs. this shyster scammer.

Bard:

Sure, here is a hilarious dialogue between a New York Jewish widow lady and a shyster scammer:

Scene: A street corner in New York City.

Characters:

  • The Widow: A middle-aged Jewish woman, dressed in traditional black clothing. She is wearing a wig and a large hat.
  • The Scammer: A young man, dressed in a flashy suit. He has a thick New York accent.

Dialogue:

Scammer: Excuse me, ma'am. Do you believe in magic?

Widow: Of course I believe in magic. I'm a Jewish woman. We believe in all sorts of magic.

Scammer: Well, I have a magic rock that can grant your wishes.

Widow: A magic rock? Really?

Scammer: Yes, really. This rock is from the lost city of Atlantis. It has magical powers.

Widow: I don't know. That sounds a little far-fetched.

Scammer: I can prove it to you. Just make a wish.

Widow: Okay, I wish for a million dollars.

Scammer: Done!

The Widow looks around, but she doesn't see any million dollars.

Widow: Where is it?

Scammer: It's in your heart. You just have to believe.

Widow: I don't believe you.

Scammer: That's because you don't have enough faith.

Widow: I don't have enough faith? I'm a widow. I've been through more than you'll ever know.

Scammer: That's why you need this rock. It will give you the strength to believe in yourself.

Widow: I don't need your rock. I can believe in myself just fine.

Scammer: Fine, then don't buy it. But you're missing out on a great opportunity.

The Widow walks away, shaking her head. Saying softly, yet loud to draw the attention of others walking past who suddenly stop to become spectators, "Damn this shyster, doesn't he have enough common sense not to be messing with a widow woman in town because this perse is the heavy head beating type and she is fully equipped with bear mace?"

Scammer: (to himself) She's not the type to fall for my shtick. But there are plenty of other fish in the sea.

The Scammer walks away, whistling. But, then suddenly, he gets whopped to the ground, and the crowd is happy to see that NY finest are close at hand to arrest him. "Good riddance" is yelled at the man as the Cops put him in the squad car to be hauled off to jail!

It's the Eudaimonia of this old Jewish widow that the crowd gives up a deafening roaring cheer.

The End.

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